Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Diamonds are Forever

Sunday 9th February

So according to the latest Bond instalment, diamonds, unlike George Lazenby are forever.  Thankfully Connery is back, pretending he never went away.  As expected his first priority is to kill Blofeld, in revenge for his becoming a widower.

With Blofeld seemingly dealt with James is quickly moved into his next mission, surprisingly enough it involves diamonds and a trip to Amsterdam; maybe they’re hoping a trip to the red light district will help Bond forget about Tracey.

Masquerading as “transport consultant” Peter Franks Bond meets with the wig loving Tiffany before being forced to kill the real Peter Franks with a fire extinguisher in order to use him as a jewellery box to transport diamonds into America.  Back in the casino James meets Plenty, a stupid name for an equally stupid woman, that doesn’t wear bras despite that she quickly gets thrown about the window, quite literally in favour of Tiffany.

What is noticeable in this Bond is the improvement in the stunts, most noticeably in the car chases; previous Bonds have been extremely unconvincing green screen shoots where Sean throws the steering wheels fiercely from side to side to make the car continue to go in a straight line.

Being the super spy he is James quickly tracks down the people behind the missing diamonds; Blofeld; to be more precise, two Blofelds and of course his ever reliable cat.  Enforcing the saying “third time luck” James kills another double; meaning that surely next time he’ll get the right man, or at least the cat.

Next on the agenda, track down the real Mr Whyte; who’s identity is being use by the ever evil and occasionally cross-dressing Blofeld.  Being protected by acrobatic versions Disney characters Bond finds an extremely confused Willard just as the films plot escalates from stealing diamonds to, very originally world domination.  Whoever told Blofeld “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” really needed to add on, “unless you end up killing lots of people and have spent billions and have the world’s secret services watching your every move” Not as catchy a saying but in this case the disclaimer would have been useful.  Also, a lesson to the worlds politicians, stop sending the same agent to the same job if said agent has failed on repeated occasions to get a quite simple of killing one man done properly!

We also see a different side on Q who has started using his powers for evil by fixing fruit machines with an electo-magnet; maybe he’s trying to raise the funds for that HR department.  There’s  brief appearance from MoneyPenny shamelessly insisting Bond propose to her, so soon after the death of his wife.

I’m almost slightly disappointed that this is Connery’s last Bond, after the last film this was a comforting return back to normal Bond. That being said Connery was in slight need of some hair dye in this film, and he only slept with one woman, perhaps a sign that his time as 007 has come and gone and it’s time to take up a new hobby; just not in fork lift truck driving.

1 comment:

  1. You've still got one more laughable Connery film to come. Some 12 years after Diamonds, he returns to the role in Never Say Never Again.