Monday 3rd February
So James Bond is back, and he has
a new hat; and seemingly a new face; new Bond even remarks on Sean Connery
being ‘the other fellow’ so we can only assume that Bond is in fact a timelord
but the regeneration effects were too expensive to film; that or I missed a
crucial end scene of the last film .
Moneypenny has a new face too but this isn’t remarked upon, maybe she’s
not a time lord and her plastic surgery just went wrong.
We begin with James “saving” a
woman walking into the sea, the woman in question didn’t seem to be in any
distress or danger until Bond saves her when she finds herself caught in a
fight with two rather violent strangers with very little regard for other
people’s property.
Despite new appearances new Bond
still enjoys his card counting and is quickly back in the casino; although this
time he’s swapped his rather classic attire for a frilly shirt and dickybow.
His choice in casual wear is also distinctly worse than it was; though it does
seem to allow for slightly more movement when beating up strangers. He also
seems to have swapped his rather impressive track record with women for
stalking one woman rather restlessly. Tracy; it seems that no matter how many
times she tries to have Bond killed he just persists in pursuing her.
In the middle of a tantrum James
resigns from the secret service via a post it, a rather unprofessional method
if ever there was one; this backfires when MoneyPenny hands in the wrong post
it and James gets two weeks holiday and she gets a kiss; so it seems they’re
still looking for that HR department.
New Bond, old villain; SPECTRE –
again! This time hiding in some snowy Swiss mountains, since warmer climates
have previously resulted in failure. To help him get over his failure with
Tracy he is sent to a seemingly female only allergy clinic where they seem to
help poor, innocent women with life-threateningly difficult issues such as a dislike
of chicken and potatoes and a weakness for overly cheesy chatup lines.
It seems that Blofelt, who has
strangely ditched his numerical nickname is also a timelord and has recently
completed a hypnosis course at his local college for which curing fears of
chicken were merely coursework as his real goal, is rather unimaginably world
domination. No wonder all the numbered people have abandoned him; they merely
had a realistic idea of the company’s growth and potential and they knew that
no matter how hard they worked they couldn’t compete with the cat.
If I’m brutally honest I’m glad
this is George Lazenby’s only appearance as Bond, although it was interesting
to see the character portrayed from a very different angle - I’m sure at one
point he was wearing lip gloss and a skirt as well as a frilly cravat whilst going
by the name of Hilary! No wonder they got Connery back.
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