Goldfinger

Thursday 16th January

Firstly it should be pointed out that Goldfinger’s first victim, Jill did sort of have it coming; after all if the man which is paying you is getting chased by the British secret service, don’t run away with the agent tracking him, no matter how refined his taste in champagne is.  Also, despite the suggestion of the opening titles she's the only person to actually end up gold.

Once again Miss Moneypenny continues to harass James, this time even proposing marriage to him; one might think that given the money that seems available to be spent on cars and gadgets what they really need to invest in is a decent HR department.

Given the continual theme of disposal women throughout the films so far it obvious that one of the benefits of sleeping with Bond is that there’s no need to stress over the possibilities of STIs, since you probably won’t be alive long enough to notice you have one.  Someone with better priorities might have noticed the connection between their romantic involvement with a woman and their untimely demise but obviously golf is very important.

Hands down this film wins the award for most unrealistic car crash, after having both her passenger side tyres slashed in a cruel display of road rage on Bond’s part Tilly Masterson slides quite gracefully off the road, with absolutely zero panic or distress.  Though what is realistic is Bond’s annoyance at his albeit primitive satnav, whilst at no point does he ask him to take a u-turn in the middle of  motorway or pull over into a river its incessant beeping must be just as irritating.

Whilst the organisation behind the operations can't really be faulted there must be better ways of smuggling gold besides in the bodywork of a Rolls Royce, perhaps wait until Christmas time and pretend to be transporting large amounts of novelty confectionery. Surely the transportation costs of continual trips and the labour costs of paying people to take apart fake cars makes this a very expensive hobby.

Pussy Galore; possibly one of the most clichéd Bond girl names yet to be thought of; and how original that they should mark her out as ‘different’ by having her save James at the crucial moment and what better job for our strong female lead than to make her the head of the blonde airplane army.

Watching the character of Goldfinger I couldn’t help but imagine he’s how Augustus Gloop from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory might have ended up if he’d of developed a cocoa intolerance; continually trying to fill the gaping hole that chocolate left behind with gold, golf and making everyone else in the US suffer the way he has suffered simply because he has nothing left to live for.  To enter the financial stronghold of the continent and not touch a thing also screams ever so slightly of Aladdin.

I have to say this was a vast improvement on From Russia with Love, possibly since it moved away from the frustratingly ominous SPECTRE.  All round more enjoyable, better characters, some very questionable acting and an ever so slight bit of humour.